restless and sleepless.
It’s 4:30am, Cinco de Mayo na. I couldn’t sleep, and I don’t understand why. Could it be the glass of blackberry lemonade I had during dinner (at 11pm)? Or maybe the craziness that I myself have caused for reasons I actually have no idea why. I can’t blame it on the moon, kase tapos na yung full moon. Full moons cause people to act all crazy, and to some extent I believe horoscopes because of this. So cross that out. So much for trying to point fingers at something I couldn’t even pin point. Ewan.
So after almost 2 months of not writing, I think I’m back. I was browsing thru old entries and I missed writing. Writing about my days, stuff going on in my head and just about anything I fancied writing about. I haven’t written anything substantial around here, and it feels that my brain is slowly rotting away from the lack of mental exercise. The only exercise it’s getting is from panic/anxiety attacks I have of being here. Not so nice.
Now I bring you my first ever post. Ta-dah!
I painted a picture in my head before I left for the city, and somehow the picture isn’t quite as I hoped it to be. I have random splashes of color, a few bold strokes there and a couple pencil marks I’ve re-drawn only to be erased right after.
They weren’t kidding when people told me that what I was doing was such a bold move. I just thought it would be a great life altering experience to start something on your very own (no help from the ‘rents…). Sort of something you read in articles where people come to the city with $10 in their pocket and a dream and become triumphant years after. I have (well had) my $10 in my pocket and have that dream, now only to figure out how to actually make it happen. Again, it goes back to The Alchemist. I don’t exactly know when it will happen or how, but I really want it, so all I ask is the universe to conspire with me.
I’ve been awake for 19 hours now. I just remembered I slept until 10am yesterday morning… I feel tired and my eyes are getting heavy na, but I don’t know why I’m still not sleepy. My weekend is so screwed na!
I’m guessing all this doesn’t make sense at all anymore.
So after almost 2 months of not writing, I think I’m back. I was browsing thru old entries and I missed writing. Writing about my days, stuff going on in my head and just about anything I fancied writing about. I haven’t written anything substantial around here, and it feels that my brain is slowly rotting away from the lack of mental exercise. The only exercise it’s getting is from panic/anxiety attacks I have of being here. Not so nice.
Now I bring you my first ever post. Ta-dah!
I painted a picture in my head before I left for the city, and somehow the picture isn’t quite as I hoped it to be. I have random splashes of color, a few bold strokes there and a couple pencil marks I’ve re-drawn only to be erased right after.
They weren’t kidding when people told me that what I was doing was such a bold move. I just thought it would be a great life altering experience to start something on your very own (no help from the ‘rents…). Sort of something you read in articles where people come to the city with $10 in their pocket and a dream and become triumphant years after. I have (well had) my $10 in my pocket and have that dream, now only to figure out how to actually make it happen. Again, it goes back to The Alchemist. I don’t exactly know when it will happen or how, but I really want it, so all I ask is the universe to conspire with me.
I’ve been awake for 19 hours now. I just remembered I slept until 10am yesterday morning… I feel tired and my eyes are getting heavy na, but I don’t know why I’m still not sleepy. My weekend is so screwed na!
I’m guessing all this doesn’t make sense at all anymore.
posted by lazydog at 2:03 AM
3 Comments:
pau, wat you did was just the first step. and then magugulat ka na lang of what you will become. and then you just look back at everything. as i always said, i am certain na makukuha mo din yan. ;)
hurray! a new post from you! =)
anton, yeah i guess so... maybe after a while i'ld step back and look at everything i've done here and find it funny that i was such a worry wart for thinking this way. i do hope everything would be alright. thanks! :)
julette, for your reading pleasure ofcourse!
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